announcement: saying it for the first time ever … i want to fool around with a girl!
if certain stars were aligned and the moment and the girl felt right … she would most likely have to be fucking hot (petite, small breasts, hot ass, nice complexion - color and feel) - she’d have to be smart for me to think she was hot - and by smart i mean life smart - not annoyingly inexperienced in life book smart - i mean fucking aware - and knows what’s up - and who’s down
fuck am i talking about me? i want to fool around with me! haha … [allow myself … to introduce my..uh…self] … fucking vanity
i’ve definitely asked myself whether i was into girls because i’ve always thought females were pretty … SOME (obviously to each her own)
but i’ve always just shook my head no bceause i always got stuck on going down on a girl … blech … i thought … gross … i’m cool with guys going down on me (obviously) and i’m very clean and yummy … but it’s different if I have to taste it … that’s just gross
YEAH SO … not anymore … i came to realize and accept this desire a couple of days ago … maybe monday feb 23rd? when i fantasized about a 3some with me and Daddy and another girl
how did my mind change? 2 main things
1) After a year and a half, I finally ok’d for Daddy to be in my mouth after he’d been in my pussy (he likes watching me taste my own juices off his cock) - and I didn’t taste so bad - it was def weird at first tasting my own juices - but i got over it - it’s me after all and i know how clean i am
2) This is the most significant and influential - I’m in a period of self-discovery. The learning curve is exponential, though I’m in my early 30’s. I’ve been oppressed and suppressed, ashamed and highly self-judgmental, unbeknownst to me all these years. Discovering a lot about myself in the past year and half. I found a missing piece I’ve been searching for all my life. I didn’t even know I was looking for it. I knew something was amiss. I just couldn’t put my finger on it. (and it wasn’t about my sexuality - it’s much more complicated so I’ll spare you that)
So now just allowing myself to really be okay with any desire, curiosity, go with it, see what comes about, observe and not judge myself on it.
In reality though - I think it would be tough for me to find a girl I’d actually want to fool around with - and it will take time to get to know and trust her - just the health risk alone is enough to keep it at fantasy for now.
I’m just saying it out loud so I know I there has been a time I’m not ashamed of what I want, what I like, what I’m feeling.
